


New Arrivals

by Winterling42



Series: Wasteland Avengers [3]
Category: Mad Max Series (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dimension Travel, Gen, unfinished plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 16:27:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10575093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterling42/pseuds/Winterling42
Summary: Natasha and Sam are the ones who get worried when Steve goes missing for too long. Iron Man crashes the party.





	

**Author's Note:**

> whoohoo literally a year later i post another installment of this series. Also this STILL doesn't have a plot, I've just added a bunch more characters. This is fine, I'm fine, thanks for asking.

“God _ damn _ it Tony why do you have to be so-”

“Impulsive? Charming? Quick-thinking?”

“Stupid,” Sam suggested from behind Natasha, his arms crossed impressively. He had impressive arms, why hadn’t Tony noticed that before?

“Moronic,” Natasha agreed. She leaned back, the knife she’d been using to clean sand out of his joints a little bent. “Can you move?” 

Tony shifted his arm experimentally. No fine motor control tests yet, just a simple swing...about an inch forward. He blew out a sigh and shook his head. Which turned out to be even less effective than usual, since none of the neck joints were working. 

“This was  _ supposed  _ to be an undercover op, you idiot.” And apparently she didn’t even have to switch out of English to keep coming up with hilarious nicknames. He should be taking notes. 

“Yeah, real smooth, an undercover op to an alternate Earth relying on  _ Strange _ to get you home. Seriously, does no one remember that I’m a genius? Built the first prototype of the arc reactor in a desert much like this one, I would say?”

“This place is  _ nothing _ like Afghanistan.” Sam said, and oh right, he’d been out there too. “For one thing, it’s a hell of a lot quieter.”

“We’re going to have to pry you out of that thing,” Natasha said, after almost jamming her knife into his elbow. Well, maybe it wouldn’t have hit his elbow. “Don’t you have a manual release or something?”

“Um, well, there’s  _ supposed _ to be an emergency release that goes off if I twist my hands right, but obviously that’s a no-go.”

“Dude, if we have to drag your ass back to the portal I’m going to be so pissed.”

“Look, let’s just everyone stay very quiet for a moment and let Tony do some genuising here. Okay?”

Natasha stood up. It was annoying how much taller than him everyone was when he was frozen on his back. Sam was tapping two fingers on a very large and obvious gun, which, okay, apparently Alternate Dust Earth had guns. Good to know.

Sam was right, it was too quiet out here. In the aftermath of the storm, nothing moved or breathed from one end of the earth to the other. It was...deafening, frankly. 

The problem with the suit wasn’t that the releases weren’t working, it was that he couldn’t get them to  _ start _ working. There were failsafes, of course, for underwater use and vacuums (both of which had been an uncomfortably common experience for him over the past few months). He just hadn’t counted on flying through a portal and getting literally sandblasted out of the air. 

This was fine, this was definitely fine. See, all he had to do was squish his ribs a little bit, pull his hand most of the way out of the suit (which hadn’t acted like a glove so much as a second skin, okay that kind of complicated the whole process...maybe he’d leave a little room for Jesus on the next model) and twist the manual releases with his fingers instead of the suit’s switches. 

Which, first of all,  _ ow _ . Second of all, bless Pepper and her new morning yoga regime, part of a protocol she’d developed with JARVIS, the tratior, to lower his stress levels. Third of all, ha HA take that Falcon, nobody was dragging Iron Man anywhere.

Except maybe Tony, because even once the suit’s releases had triggered and he could pull himself out of it, the tin can wasn’t going anywhere fast. Also, nobody offered to help him out of the suit, which Tony thought was kind of rude until he saw how intently both of them were staring at one particular spot on the horizon. A spot that was moving towards them.

“Where’d the Doc say he’d put us down?” Sam asked. 

“Half a day’s walk from the place Steve and Bucky ended up,” Natasha replied. Tony had seen that look on her face one too many times to be entirely reassured by it. It was the kind of look that immediately preceded violence. 

“So these could be friendlies,” Sam muttered. He must have seen the look too. Tony sat in the sand, wearing a T shirt and sweatpants, and these asshole teammates of his wouldn’t even offer him a gun. “A-hem,” he said, loudly.

“Not now, Tony,” Natasha didn’t even look at him. 

“Can I offer a suggestion that we maybe don’t kill the first people we meet? Might make a bad impression.” 

“Only if they don’t try to kill us first.” The desert might have put an edge on Sam, but it had transformed Natasha. She held an automatic in one hand like it was nothing. Like smaller, less lethal weapons weren’t worth the bother. Sam, at least, looked back and offered Tony a hand up and a pistol. “Don’t shoot me,” he told Tony, which was a completely unreasonable and unfounded fear.


End file.
